Tuesday, December 22, 2009

There's something about snow!



It's snowing outside! Just minus 10 degs. The kind of big cottony snow. This is the perfect snow for me. Light and not watery at all. And like a kid, I love lying on the snow covered ground waiting for the fresh snow to drop into my open mouth. It feels freeing, innocent, calm and peaceful. There's something about snow!

When I was a kid growing up in Manila, I didn't really pay so much attention to the snowed out designs on the windows of shopping malls. Seriously! Snow? In Manila? Its just insane. And yet, we kept singing... "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...."

This is now my 8th winter in Finland. And I think, I am liking the snow. It kinda gives the Christmas feel. I dunno if its beause of the snowed out mall windows.... hahaha.... but really, snow just makes everything, everywhere beautiful! Now I see my window edges getting filled with real snow! Just like at the mall. :)

I wouldn't complain about the 3 layers of clothes I have to put on so I could go out in the snow. I wouldn't complain how the bitching cold air would freeze whats inside my nose. I wouldn't complain about the "biting cold" that really bites your face!
But all I am saying is that I am growing accustomed to the snow. That I am liking snow! I even have my prefered snow now. Because seriously, there's something about snow!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

When will the "this too shall pass" begin?



Have been hibernating too long.
Emotions couldn't fit in my tiny heart with a faint beat.

What do you do when a brother hurts you?
What do you do when a sister doesn't understand you?
What do you do when a friend abandoned you?
What do you do when everything that comes your way, just keep on sticking to the hems of your pants like a splinter that pokes your ankle?
What do you do when tears at night just doesn't wanna flow?

I'm like a balloon about to burst, but just couldn't.
I need to be pricked. I need it quick.

I am strong. I really am... or so I thought...

I kept saying to myself, look forward to tomorrow. It will be better than yesterday.
I kept saying to myself, everything happens for a reason. So what is the reason? No one could explain.

LOOK FORWARD TO TOMORROW! Thats what I always say. But the better day is yet to come.

Where do you go?
Who do you run to?

This too shall pass...

When will the passing starts?

Im running out of options.
Im running out of places to hide the tears.
Im running out of water to wash away the pain.

Until when can this mask hold?
Until when can this smile hide whats really inside?

Tell me, when will the "this too shall pass" begin?

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Another Salud!

I have been delaying writing since the beginning of this year, for so many not so good things have been happening one after the other. Though a lot of exciting positive events balanced it out. And yes, Toni and I finally tied the knot last May.

But I will say, one of the biggest blows this year is when one of my most trusted friend had to leave for Spain, yet again!!!

It probably has something to do with Spain conquering the Philippines for over three hundred years, that I find myself getting along with most Spanish peeps. You see, I have similar values with them. But even after so many years of independence from the Spanish conquistadors, they still give me heartaches!!!! :)

My business partner, my confidante, my wedding organizer, my true friend, and most of all, my soul sistah!


(taken on my wedding day with Gosia and Rocio)

Although she told me that they are planning on leaving if Jaakko finds a job in Spain, I can never be prepared for when that day comes. I didn't cry for losing my business partner! I cried for losing that one person who reads me like the back of her hand. Don't get me wrong, I am not upset that she left me. I am just sad that she had to leave. No, make that really sad! It is getting more and more difficult to find that someone whom you can rely on. Whom you know doesn't judge you. Who actually accepts you for who you are. And whom you know you feel the same way to.

I still couldn't bring myself to call her, for I know I will cry! I miss her everyday, and I miss her effectious smile! But hopefully, I can call her soon.